More Than Blood: Finding Identity Through Collective Culture

By Ana Sofia Morales

My Father’s excitement to always ask me ‘’¿Quien es la princesa de papa?" or, ``Who's daddy’s princess?” This question was never-ending even though he knew he would always get the same answer, ‘’Me me me, I’m the princess!’’ I don't know when those innocent interactions came to an end, but just like many memories with him, they ran out.

I had a strong relationship with my Father when I was a child, but in reality, I think it was because of my innocence.

Even then, I remember having some sense that he was not my ‘’real dad’’, but for some reason that thought barely resonated with me. Perhaps I felt like we shared a collective culture. My Mother did tell me about my biological Father when I was young, and inevitably, I grew up creating so many thoughts and questions that could never be proven or answered. I came to the conclusion that I needed to meet my ‘’real Father’’ to satisfy a void, and that will help me to discover who I really was.

I was confused on what I should represent and felt disconnected from the family culture. This unresolved aspect of myself set in motion an identity crisis and a complicated relationship with my Father for most of my teen years. As I grappled with my own identity, I embraced my Father’s Colombian culture like it were mine. I rooted for Los Cafeteros during soccer games, ate arepas every morning, celebrated Colombia's independence day every year, and so on. Although my Father’s side of the family was accepting and loving towards me, I still kept a barrier between my Father, his ethnicity, and myself because I didn't ‘’feel’’ Colombian.

It was puzzling embracing my Father’s persona when I grew up learning one’s ethnicity plays a vital role in their identity. When I was in 10th and 11th grade, I began embracing my Hispanic culture again. This time, to an eye opening extent where I soon learned what cultural identity truly means. I grew up with close friends from many different hispanic backgrounds like Peru, Costa Rica, and Dominican Republic. Just like my friends and I, my Father and I share a collective culture. We have particular flavors in food, listen to old school reggaeton, and watch futbol. I began to realize that in the collective culture we share, we bond and integrate with what makes us similar and different from the rest.

The uniqueness we share has allowed me to understand the connection Latino countries have. While I struggled integrating and assimilating this reality with the concept of family, particularly the relationship between my Father and I, I saw how it united us since I was a little girl. Growing up in a diverse home has helped me to become family oriented and appreciative of my Father’s Colombian culture. It provided a special kind of intimacy between my Father and I that allowed me to develop a compassionate approach for creating and growing relationships with people from different backgrounds.

My unique and accepting Father figure has allowed me to be intrigued, learn, and embrace different cultures from around the world and appreciate them for their diversity they bring to the world. I didn't need to live with my biological Father to discover who I truly was, as my complex story with my Father has allowed me to be culturally wide and accepting of new possibilities.